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| Alex leaving for work | Melissa playing computer games | Meeting the Neighbors | Melissa finds out that a neighbor knows how to juggle | 
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| Hah! Checkmate! I win again! | Welcome home. | Ya mean it? Maybe you'll be gettin' some tonight. | Come here, you. | 
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It gets better. I picked this up for you on the way home. | ...Miller rounding first... | You change its diaper.It's half your DNA. | Hi. I'm Alex. Already taken, though. | |   |   |   |   | 
| Jake, don't get me started about politicians. | I know, but lawyers are worse. | The President must be really bad then. | Boy, I'm tired. | 
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| Faster I finish, the faster I can eat. | Hi. | Practicing a speech | Boy, I hope they don't kill the messenger for bringing bad news. |